Does the fear of being poor or your quest for money keep you from having a large family? Do you believe that having a large family is unwise or worse yet, a curse? If so, I beg to differ.
Counting the Cost
Many people worry that children will cost too much money or that they will not have a good quality of life. Reported numbers that show estimated costs along with decreased incomes also contribute to the fear for the future.
However, the numbers do not show or account for alternative ways or means of raising a child. There are ways to meet the needs of children that can significantly reduce the high costs being reported. But the problem is that many people need to be willing to change and to make sacrifices for the greater good. Having a large family is not a curse, but a blessing.
How do I know this?
Aside from the fact that the Bible says so, I have lived it and have seen the blessings that come from having a large family.
I was born into a large family and I also have a large family myself. My parents didn’t have much money to give, but what I did receive from them is more valuable to me than any amount of money. It was a priceless upbringing of discipline, good morals/ethics and a godly heritage. Not having everything was actually a blessing. It taught me to appreciate the simple things in life and to be content with what I have. It has also taught me the value of hard work and determination.
Is Money Everything?
Now that I am a parent, I do not look at my children as hindrances or stumbling blocks to wealth creation, but I have a rare opportunity to instill in them all the knowledge and wisdom they need to succeed in life. Some of these lessons include how to save, avoid debt, spend wisely, and learning how to be self-sufficient. They learn that they don’t have to have everything exactly when they want it. Patience is a virtue.
Having a plan, avoiding debt, and living on less are things many people need to learn. Some of us have had to learn the hard way. And if colleges and universities taught that (as a foundational requirement) from the get-go, many people would be better off today. They wouldn’t be saddled with student loan debt and high interest credit payments. (But that’s another story.)
The Ultimate Plan
At the same time, no one is perfect (we’ve all made mistakes) and no plan is either, because regardless of how much we plan, God also has a plan for our lives. And experience has shown me that “unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” So, it is important to be flexible and open to the plan that God has for your life, because that is the plan that will, ultimately, bring you the most happiness.
I have talked with many older people who planned their lives so well (they had a lot of money) and limited the amount of children they had or had no children at all because of “the cost” (not to mention societal pressure). All of them, without exception, wished that they had done it differently (i.e. that they had more children). It’s sad, but many end up alone or dying in a nursing home with no family to care for them. Many times, the one or two children they have (if any) want nothing to do with them.
On the contrary, many people with large families end up happy; and when they die, it is often a peaceful transition as they are surrounded by many loving family members. I believe we can find a happy medium by planning, but being willing to accept God’s will for our lives. No, a large family is not for everyone, but everyone needs to respect their choice to exist and stop judging people who have large families. It is unfair to paint everyone with a broad brush.
Do you automatically assume the worst when you see a large family?